6 Products For The Everyday Douchebag

Always be prepared to deliver the perfect insult with these situation-ready business cards that will add some class to your next offensive encounter.

Promising Review: "Since I have had these I am actively looking for people that are parked poorly, bad tattoos, and stupid people that were allowed to breed. With these official looking business cards I am constantly on the lookout for deserving people to let them know just how idiotic they really are. Truly, this is one of the best purchases I have made. I just wish I could purchase the bad parking ones in bulk because I have too many bad drivers around my area and not enough cards to hand out."

This "Dick" mug is pretty self-explanatory, and full of attitude. They can’t say you didn’t warn them.

Promising Review: "The mug came in a lovely little box and the actual material of the mug is very smooth. I was surprised to find that the product was a little larger then the average mug of coffee, so if you're worried about being unable to enjoy as much coffee as you could have with the hand taking up some space, worry not. Fantastic, sarcastic gift for my father. A must-have."

Advertise your priorities to the world with this amazing cash suit. Tell people they call you Mr. Hundo, and you’re all about the Benjamins.

Promising Review: "surprisingly great fit and looks awesome on. I had no idea what to expect - frankly, I expected it to be cheap and ill fitting but the suit is anything but. Sure it's polyester so don't go overboard, but the cut is great and the suit actually looked good on - as much as a suit covered in money can look good!"

Finally set the record straight with this hilarious book that details the many underreported struggles of the well-endowed.

Promising Review: "It's literally been YEARS since I bought this book on here, but I happened to be on this review page doing a recent review for a different purchase so I figured I'd keep going down the page and continue giving credit wherever it's due. I do recall that this book arrived in a timely manner and thank GOD for that! I've been struggling with ways to deal with this freakishly huge "problem" since BIRTH! I'm serious, too, because when I was born they almost cut the wrong thing when going for the umbilical cord!! I actually had an extremely wide umbilical cord, too, so they had to take a break before they actually did the cutting so they could go to the mayor's house and retrieve the city's ceremonial ribbon-cutting scissors. Anyway, when they went to cut, my dad says he yelled "STOOOOOOP!!!!" with outstretched hands and spread fingers in a panic and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion in that moment. I thank him still for that keen observation and I'd never choose to have it any other way, but that doesn't just "go to show" that having such a Brobdingnagian colossal monstrosity doesn't cum with its own set of drawbacks. Dr. Jacob is a lifesaver in this critical read for those who know the world in which I live!"

Loudly a proudly announce your love for the female form in the most childish way possible with this 3D Book of Big Butts

Promising Review: "I purchased this book as a gift for my brother who is a butt connoisseur, and judging by his reaction to it, I'd say it is quite the definitive collection of beautiful butts and how they were featured in the history of modern publication (did that sound like an educated enough version of plainly stating that this coffee table book ROCKS with the best of butts?)"

Do you lift bro? C’mon that’s so last year. Real bros know it’s all about bodyweight training with this color-coded push up training system, you’ll be on the cutting edge of exercise science.

Promising Review: "REALLY great product - I do a quick set of pushups before bed (rotating between R-G-B-Y each night) and have noticed huge changes in just a few months. Given, I did zero exercise before hand - but that's why this product is so great... I actually USE this product consistently. It's so simple for me to pump out some push ups while swishing mouth wash before bed - it has become second nature. I've noticed better posture, more toned muscles, and have dropped from 175 to 168 in a few months. I went from about 5 pushups per night to 30 right now.

Again, I am not some exercise buff - I'm a workaholic who sits in front of the computer and eats junk food religiously. That's why this product is SO VALUABLE to me... It's one of only fitness products I've ever used consistently, because it's so easy to use. It took me just a couple days to build the habit, and it's one of the only 'healthy habits' I've ever had... Highly recommended - maybe not for the fitness buff who lives at the gym, but SO PERFECT for the 'everyday joe'..."