- Editor's Choice
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- APR 30, 2019
We, the black thumbed. The yin to the yang of our green-thumbed brethren. We bring order to the universe and limit the domination of Aunt Debbie’s overgrown garden. Do not be ashamed in your lack of get with the flowery friends. Without us, we’d be living in a life-size recreation of The Happening. But still, it’s not fair that all these gifted people get to have their elaborate gardens, while the rest of us have to come home to a patch of dirt and some dry grass. It’s time, my botanically challenged friends, that we too enjoy a variety of herbs.
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These are supposed to be one of the easiest plants to take care of. If you manage to kill one of these, there’s more than just botany to be worried about here.
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Potted plants are lame, so maybe that’s why you’ve chosen to suck at gardening ‘wink wink’. This on the other hand, is as cool as a pot can get. Who doesn’t love Groot.
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Don't bow down to these plants that mock us with their inabiltiy to overcome our deficiancies. Show them who’s boss, and make them come up to you, with this elevated display.
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Now this is definitely something that your nosy neighbor Susan won’t ask about. It’s so weird, it’s almost wrong to call it a plant. Which is perfect because we only manage to kill plants.
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Love him, or hate him, this has a use for you. What that use is, we leave to your discretion, but a use nonetheless. We digress.