- Editor's Choice
- |
- AUG 23, 2019
While we're in school, we cram right before a test. It's only right that we do the same in summer and cram just a little bit of knowledge into our brains before school starts. After endless months of video games, late nights, zero studying, and we hope at least some physical activity, the brain tends to get a little numb. Who doesn't remember the first week of school when the teacher hands out a review sheet for what you should have learned last year, while in your head you're just trying to figure out how to do multiplication all over again. While we can't exactly help you become a little Einstein, we can help you become that kid that knows everything about anything utterly useless. Nestle into your bean bag chairs wannabe book worms; it's a time to get reading.
This article was made for slackers of all ages. Please read responsibly.
-
Sometimes, the best place to start is from the beginning. Let's accept that everything we think we know is wrong, because given our report card, it's probably true. Now that we've cleaned the slate. Let's load up some smartilce particles.
-
Ah, the English language. What an absolute cluster f---(we said all ages). Unfortunately, paper companies still haven't adopted spell check into their paper products, so like neandrathals, we need to check our own spelling. That can be tricky when you're trying to craft a sentence with a bunch of silent letters that are shy and don't like to call attention to themselves. Learn the intricacies of the English language with the Worst Alphabet Book Ever.
Seriously, why is there a P in pterodactyl. English wasn't even a language back then. We did this to ourselves.
-
The titles explains itself. You thought you knew what you know, but in actuality, you don't. What a great feeling. But there's only one direction to go from here, and that's up. Well you could also give up and hit rock bottom, where you live with an undying dread of selfworth and an overwhelming existential crisis, but we like to look on the bright side. Happy reading!
-
Science is based on experimentation. Experimentation is based on asking the questions everyone else is to afraid or numbskulled to ask. Even your science teacher won't have answers for these. But you will.
-
Challenge your math teacher the next time she tries to flex her mathematical prowess on you. We bet she doesn't even know one number with 100 000 normal derivatives. Neither do we, but that's besides the point.
-
Sarcasm is a delicate art. It should not be thrown around with reckless disregard. The next time you want to make a sarcastic comment, make sure you double check this dictionary so that you are employing the correct sarcastic elements.
